[JunkyGardai]

Please do me a favour whoever is reading this , dont carry on reading if you have somewhat of a good day because i dont want to be the one ruining it , i already have enough to deal with as is. I'm just so fucking sick of everything , ive had enough to deal with , i have had extreme anhedonia and extreme brain fog for like the past year , my concentration is fucking shit and my decision making skills have deteriorated , i am unable to use logic to deal with everyday situations anymore and my memory is just so fucking terrible i cant even remember when i have waken up. I have recently done the leaving certificate (state exams in ireland) and honestly i think i fucked up because i was just so fucking out of it , and you wanna know how good my luck is? I was just put on new antidepressants and tranquilisers A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE EXAMS STARTED! I tried my best to study even though my cognitive abilities have been deteriorated to shite , i remember 7 hour study sessions where i could only manage to do a chapter of a certain subject but atleast i can say i fucking tried... I was also referred to mental health services because my condition was deteriorating and i think they told the school about the shite im going through which would explain why i was offered timeouts or coffee during the exams and stuff... I have had multiple mental breakdowns and panic attacks and suicide attempts , what really terrifies me is that i dont have any fucking memory of any of these things happening so before i know it at anytime i could just fucking end it all and i wouldnt even know i was doing it!! I do have great friends who have been there for me but i honestly just feel so fucking bad that they care about me , i dont even know why! I'm also someone who hates my own fucking family because of the toxic environment i have been put through and still am in which is in no way helping me in any way. I also have trouble understanding my own fucking feelings so i dont like it when someone asks how i am because i dont even know how i fucking am , i always lie about it like saying "im fine" or some shit! , i'm also extremely anxious and paranoid and i just cant fucking take it anymore! Too top it all off i have OCD just sprinkled on this shit! I'm sorry i just really had to fucking vent because im so fucking sick of all this shit! I hope ye could understand me because i really dont think i make sense when i write or talk , and if any of ye need anyone to talk to i am just a text away..

[Lewwings]

This is not the best news. Considering that over at FL, you used to go Police Sergeant to run an Irish Police Force. Which was pulled off really well from your end, so I never expected this to be an issue from you.

All I can say is that I can wish you the best in dealing with these issues.

- Much hope, from a fellow Irish user.

[JunkyGardai]

This is not the best news. Considering that over at FL, you used to go Police Sergeant to run an Irish Police Force. Which was pulled off really well from your end, so I never expected this to be an issue from you.

All I can say is that I can wish you the best in dealing with these issues.

- Much hope, from a fellow Irish user.

I didn't think anyone would remember me at all on this server , let alone Fearless... thanks very much for those nice words