[aStrandedBanana]

EvoCity Magazine

Recently, word has gotten out about the Russians inventing, or attempting, orbital bioweapons. These weapons are satellites capable of unleashing hell with the press of a button, all through small pods of biochemicals.

Upon interview, lead scientist Ivan Eglovenic said this: "These weapons are not there to scare people. These are the bringers of salvation, the cure to the terrorist issue we are suffering. Through these, we will see justice"

Despite further question, Eglovenic would not say anything further, leading us to think that he is truly in belief of this, and that Russia is doing nothing to stop this. Furthermore, his associate confirmed the development of these satellites with no shame

These weapons consist of chemicals that target the central nervous system and shut it down in a matter of seconds. This process inflicts mass amounts of pain, making it the most inhumane bioweapon ever developed today.

The mayor of EvoCity has asked all citizens to remain calm and had assured everyone they are perfectly safe.

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EvoScience, 19/11/2015
Submitted by Sam Litten

OOC:
This is my first article, did the best I could currently

[Lord Octagon]

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Other than that, good job, I will contact you shortly regarding your position at EvoCity News Corp.

Sincerely, 


Pierre El Daher
Editor-in-chief

[Judge Rage]

Technically this would be in violation of international law, some convention (forgot the name) prohibits the use of space for weapons.

edit:
OH FUCK I JUST REALISED THIS POST HAS BEEN DEAD FOR AGES