Limelight Forums

My amplification to Fufufu

Steam Name: Jilly Beans
Steam ID: STEAM_0:1:29964011
Your Age: old enough to be yer grampa, or grandma, if that's your fancy
Hours on server: yes, both hours and minutes
RP Events you have been in: that one where the police had to shoot bang bang, god that was cool
Reps Issued: i got a lotta stree rep ye
Ban History on Limelight: it all began in 1936...
Blacklist History on Limelight what is this, blacklistory month? hahaha lmao 
Warning history on Limelight: i was told not to try this at home


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In Character Information:
(Be as creative as you can)
My name is Jilly Beans, I sell beans and bean accessories, in fact, I own a whole bean... jacket... just bean, I own a whole bean. I mean I own a whole bean store, right, a store where I sell beans. Yeah, that's a thing, ever went to a restaurant and said "I'd have uhhhh the beans" ? and they come around with a big ol' platter full'o'beans? Where do you think they got those nice beans? Jilly Bean's Bean Store. I also sell bins for beans, bean bins, if you will. They say "hey, ever been to the Bean's Beans n' Bean Bin Store?" and a good customer says "yeah I been to the bean n' bean bin Bean's store". What do you call a man who loves beans? A beaner! what do you call a man who used to like beans? a has-beaner!

What? No, I don't know of any "Billy Jeans" no sirrybob no idea, whats all that talk about Jeans? Never have I even SEEN a jacket let alone a... beautiful.. bean jacket- I mean jean jacket... not the pants... where was I?


Division you are applying for: FUMUKU International Agricultural Research Division MULTIPLICATION. That's right, I am applying for head of the Agricamulture Read and Search MULTIPLICATION not division, you don't divide around here no more! With me ahead of this Multiplication we will no longer see ourselves forced to chop our legumes in halves, or quarters- or even God forbid- octaves. "Division" heh, that's defeatism right there and I won't stand (or sit, or lay down, nor lay halfies like when you're sorta in bed but not alseep just reading) for it! No more! And take this piss of advice sonny- rename all your other """""divisions""""" to multiplications and you'll see worker morale boost through the roof, like a bean through the well-watered soil!

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Full Name: Jilly Fat Tiddy Beans

All Nicknames: Jill, Jil, Ji-l, J-Lo, Jolly, Jilly Been, Mister Beans, Jilly Lean Beans 4 Teens Beans, Jilly Beandick, Fat Retard, Bean-Brain, dumb, useless, god you're just like your dad, I wish I never had you, I should have aborted you fatty little retarded freak you'll never run a successful bean business in your life!!!!!!!!!!<QUICKREFERENCES#11111111111> FUCK YOU MOTHER AAAAA

Age: 890 years old in bean-years

Date of Application: I applied the lotion last week and the bag of beans is still lost up my ass I can feel the beans when I push out my crap in the crapper doctor what ever shall I do?

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Date of birth: I was never really registered my family didn't care so I usually just celebrate my birthday whenever I feel like it (btw it's my birthday   it would be really cool if I got into Fmamauku on my birthday it would mean a lot)

Gender: Homobean

Place of Birth: It's really hard to tell because my mother was drunk and had me in a sunday softball match, she laid on the ground with her legs up and pushed me, out like a little wet pingpong I flew upwards, before being struck by a baseball bat in mid air, which sent me flying out a several dozen yards. They never did find all of the pieces for my little head, but I was told it was a game-winning home run.

Telephone Number: I own a saxophone, it has a serial number, I don't know how to play it.

Mobile: Reduced mobility (condition: Fat)

Driver's License Number: My bus driver's license is 489-BIN

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Current Residence (Complete in Full) ok

Address: I do not own a dress I am a man I have jean...  wait I dress in beans. I am naked I cover my nether regions in wallpaper glue and beans.

Zip code: B34N5

Suburb / City if you squint your eyes suburb looks like rubarb lol

Previous Residence (Complete in Full) 

Address: NO DRESS how hard is it to understand

Zip code: america

Suburb / City The Big Bean (instead of the 'Big Apple')

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Why are you applying? I am applying because I need more money to buy more beans to sell more beans, you can't make money, by which I mean Beans, if you don't spend money, by which I also mean beans. I hope this sends a message about me. I need to joing Fukumumumumu because only Fumumumu can offer me the means to an end, and that is, the means to institute mandatory bean consumption for all civilians. I want to end world hunger, and I want to do it through beans, solving two problems in one go: The energy problem. All this talk about renewable energies got me thinking, why frack the earth for natural gas when we're all sitting on top of our very own gas dispensers- our asses? By switching mankind's diet to a bean-based diet we will ensure we never run out of gas. Need to light your house? BRAAP. Need to power the car? BRAAAAP. Need to propel a payload into space? BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP. Make note of how I quantified the potency of each release by adding or subtracting A's from the word. The more A's a BRAP has, the more powerful it is, there's a whole mathematically accurate scale I am working on that will revolutionize not only the way we understand energy but also the way we face flatulence. 

This is cutting edge stuff here, but I've merely scratched the surface, I've just given you a whiff.
If hired I will further expand on how mass agricultural and nutritional overhaul of Mankind can power us beyond the Milky Way and onto Another Way, a Way where Lactose Intolerant people can call home in this vast universe.

What is your background in the field you are applying for?
My background is beans, endless rows of beans. I choose this background for my desktop because it accentuates my eyes whenever it's really bright in the room and I can see my reflection on the screen despite it being at full brightness. I just like to see me, mirrored over those beans.


Why should we pick you for FUMUKU?
No no no, I picked FUMUKU. There's half a million organizations out there, constantly banging on my door to get me to join them; "Jilly, Jilly, please join the US Presidency, need your expansive Bean knowledge to save the middle east!" and "Please oh God, please get up you just sat on my baby daughter!!" and "What are you doing with your hand down your pants on this kindergarden? are you a parent?? that isn't your kid, that's a bag of beans!!"
But alas, they meant nothing to me, they weren't up to the challenge. Fumukkku? well, I have trouble even spelling it, now that's a challenge! 3 U's? what is this, a hawaian deity?? The name along is riddled with mystery and is nothing short of a grammatical olympian battle. FUKUKU, please pick me, as I have picked you, and God has picked me, too.


What will you offer FUMUKU?
Peas are just round green beans with no personality.
Mindblown huh? I'll give you a couple of hours to recuperate.
It's nuggets of spiritual knowledge like that, which I am willing to offer you, if you're wise enough to bless yourself with such a valuable asset like myself.

Well well well, if it ain't that there HERO Jilly Beans.
This here HERO saved alotta blue lives out there, all by himself he captured our top 100 most wanted, including n1, Handless Herman, whom despite several arrests was never brought back to jail, because he would always escape. We couldn't handcuff him, he had no hands! How on Earth could we deal with that? Well then came along that there HERO Jilly "Hero" Beans and single handedly captured Handless Herman by cuffing his "bottom hands" (or feet as some call them). A stroke of genius!

+support!

Hey, I recognize that man, it's Jilly Beans the architectural genius! He built over 10'000 homes after that tornado destroyed our town last year! I couldn't believe it either, Jilly Beans, the legendary architect, here to save us from this disaster? Well folks that's exactly what happened. Now I can say my home was made by the same man who built the Eiffel Tower too. Not only that, but J. Beans here is also credited for the design and building of the Empire State Building, the White House, the Lost City of Pompeii, the Great Wall of China, and the Egyptian Pyramids!  

God bless you Jilly Beans!
+ support

By Merlin's beard, the chosen one, applying for FUMUKU? But they don't even have a Magick Multiplication! Oh well, I am sure that in your infinite wisdom you must have seen a grave danger, an ancient evil awoken, perhaps? and are joining this clan in order to re-establish order in the overoworld? Ahhhh... yes yes... great plan Lord Beans, great plan. Indeed you must be growing bored since you've vanquished all the evil dragons back to the limbo! I will never forget the heroic deeds you engaged in to save the Kingdoms of Man from that necromancer lych baron either!

In the name of the Council of Wizards I here by extend you our + support.

Howdy partner! Tis I, Sheriff Marmalade, from the Little Town of Cityville.
Remember when ya challenged those bandits for a duel and 1 shot every one of them with your modified 6-shooter that was actually a 30-shooter? You save our town a lot of pain, and our government a lot of good men of the law! You sir not only made right by God's law, but you also made sure everyone in that town survived The Great Famine through your clever and inventive use of cutting edge hydroponics in bean farmin'.

+ support
Show them city-slicks whose boss!

In my 20 years of career as a neurosurgeon I never thought I'd ever get to see someone save so many lives with such a risky procedure. This man here attempted (and succeeded) in curing 45 people that had Fatal Headache Syndrome by doing a chain brain transplant where the brain was transplanted to the person to the left of that patient. All 45 people were placed in a circle in the surgery beds and, with no help of anyone, not even nurses, Jilly Beans opened everyone's heads with a bottle opener (fine technique) and executed all the transplants- in counter clock order- in a matter of 20 hours of grueling and bloody surgery. This method became known as the Jilly Beans Procedure.
Every patient woke up feeling fine and with no secondary effects, some more happy than others of course, we didn't really pay attention to whatever gender they were before the brain switch, but at least their headaches were gone!

A pioneer of medicine he is, this Jilly Beans!
+ support

Oh, you think the darkness is your ally, you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man; by then, it was nothing to me but blinding! The shadows betray you, because they belong to me. I will show you where I have made my home, I will be preparing to bring justice. Then, I will break you. Your precious armory, gratefully accepted. We will need it. Ah yes, I was wondering what would break first. Your spirit, or your body?
Nothing, if you're as strong of mind as you are of body and of bean-count, like this man before you, Jilly Beans!
Citizens of Gotham, this is your only hero.
 
+ support

Ah ja CHilly Peans, chust zee man for zee chob. Arh ! Lisden to zis guy, he knovs ein lot apout zee peans und apout kas- esbecially kas. Zis man empoties zee poldness und praffery of zee aryan varrior, he is inteed zee most german of non germans. Arh ! You'll pe mizing ein huge obortunity if you do not bick him for your clan! One Beople, One Zerffer, One Pean! Jawohl !

+ support

It is my duty as both a world class chef and historian of food to credit the man responsible for one of the most important culinary inventions known to mankind- soup! That's right, him, that man right there, Jilly Beans, him and his beans, he's responsible for the invention of soup! How could we, collectively, had been so blind? After all it's just hot water and legumes, but we've always had our bowl of hot water separately from our bowl of vegetables for dinner, it... it just made sense! But then he comes along with this.. broth... water with BEANS floating in it? That was when he introduced me and my piers to the complex concept of soup. Honestly? total game changer, wow.

It's for this and his previous invention of bread and of the digestive system that I feel that, in the name of all food lovers all around the world, he must receive this + support.

hol up hol up diss nigga here he be da trues of G's out there mane lemme tell you diss cracka ass nigga fina always get a brotha outta trouble ye ye fo real nigga wite ousside but nigga BLACK a f inside ye he rap real good too damn u kno dr dre and snoop dawg? or soup dawg as he goes now to honor this OG? ye das rite even biggy smols, they lyrics wuz all writen by Jilly Beans. He got a soul like no otha and he aint all feelins n sheit eitha nah diss boi will cap a pig if needed boy we caught this headass slippin, we caught him slippin on our turf, and we knew that nigga he had killed our brotha Tygrease in his house once and we wuz gon jump him, but Billy Jeans here was kickin' it out wit us and he seen that nigga slippin and he went there and he POW he POW, knocked the goofy out of his ass with a sock full of beans, damn.

savage a f
+ support

Eh.