Aug 3, 2016, 05:32 PM
Alright you filthy gambling addicts here's how you steal everyones money.
I like to think Hold 'em as having 2 main parts - The luck, and the skill.
![[Image: poker-hand-picture.png]](https://www.profindsearch.com/fun_casinos/images/poker-hand-picture.png)
I like to think Hold 'em as having 2 main parts - The luck, and the skill.
The Luck
The lucky part of Hold 'em is getting a good hand. You have no control over what cards you get so getting a good hand is just luck.
The Skill
The skill part is judging whether to keep playing, or fold your hand. If you have a high card, you should probably just fold, chances are you're fucked if you keep on going. If you have a Royal Flush on the other hand (kek see what I did there) you should never fold, as a Royal Flush cannot be beaten and you're essentially the guaranteed winner.The Hands
The hands in poker are actually not the things with 5 fingers, but are instead the collection of cards which will dictate whether you win or lose (most of the time lose), so allow me to tell you what they are (in order of how fucking good they are, ok?)
High Hand
This is like the shittiest tier memes on the internet, utterly useless. If you have this you might as well give up and commit because you've lost already. It's not even anything special, it's like a "atleast you tried" prize.
A high hand can only beat other high hands with lower value, e.g. a King high card would beat a Queen high card.
Pair
One pair is two cards of the same rank. For example, two queens. Fucking simple, if you don't understand this one just leave please
One pair is two cards of the same rank. For example, two queens. Fucking simple, if you don't understand this one just leave please
Two pairs
As the name suggests, it's 2 god damned pairs. Done.
Three of a kind
Three cards of the same value. For example, three aces.
Three cards of the same value. For example, three aces.
Straight
Five cards of any suit in ascending order, e.g. 1♠, 2♦, 3♦, 4♣, 5♥ (the unicode suit symbols were quite small, so I enlarged these on purpose)
Flush
5 cards all of the same suit, e.g. 1♣, 7♣, 2♣, 9♣, 5♣
Full house
A pair, and Three of a kind of any suit
Four of a kind
Four of a kind, or quads, are four cards of equal value. For example, four jacks. ezpz right?
Four of a kind, or quads, are four cards of equal value. For example, four jacks. ezpz right?
Straight flush
A straight flush is a five-card straight, all in the same suit. For example, 7-6-5-4-3 all of clubs.
A straight flush is a five-card straight, all in the same suit. For example, 7-6-5-4-3 all of clubs.
Royal flush
A royal flush is an ace high straight flush. For example, A-K-Q-J-10 all of diamonds.
I was gonna write about other Hold 'em aspects, like calling and betting and all that shit but trying to format all this shit was making me develop brain hernias and I fucking can't be arsed doing it anymore. Bastard little characters don't want to change to the right size, so just have this picture I stole from google
Fucking enjoy. I am not responsible for when you lose thanks to this shit tier guide.
EDIT: Jesus fucking christ it looks worse after it's been posted, WHERE IS THE FUCKING LINE SPACING TOOL JESUS